So this week we found out by a new doctor Daniel saw, that if Daniel's sperm count is how it was a few years ago, then there is no way to concieve a baby naturally. It was surprising to me that my reaction was not of sadness but rather relief . So much of the unknown these last few years have been rough. Finally a doctor has told us we cannot have children naturally. I do believe in miracles and I do not  care in which that miracle of life occurs. Be it a biological child with Daniel or an adopted child with Daniel. Any child we have will be loved greatly and fiercely .

 I am happy to be in a position to make choices in how I would like to prepare the way for our future child. I am learning to accept that Daniel and I  are not a cookie cutter husband and wife. That our life will not be the societal norm. And that it is ok for us to live our lives as God calls us to & not what the world expects of us.

-Amanda

Bittersweet Times

Well today was my last full time day at the surgical center. I am going to miss my phase 2 nursing buddies . Tomorrow starts a new chapter in my nursing career and I am a little nervous but mostly excited. I have never worked in an ICU but I am going to start this new journey with an optimistic outlook. The hospital I will be working at has a $2000 dollar adoption assistance policy that we are hoping to one day utilize. I will have to work at the hospital for 6 months at least to qualify for it. That being said our hope is to re-evaluate our financial circumstance in 6 months to see if we will send in our applications to the agencies to start the process.  I will make more money at this new job and I will also stay “as needed” at my old job at the surgical center. Again any monetary income is helpful to get us to a place to adopt. Our goal is to have as much of our debt as we have paid off and $10, 000-$15,000 saved up before we submit our application to the adoption agency. Patience is going to be difficult, but we are going to trust in God’s Plan and surrender ourselves to it. We wish to satisfy God above all! Please keep praying for us, the birthmother, the agency we will use, and our unborn baby.

Blessings! 

Amanda

A big family for support

Amanda and I were talking about how much family we have and how neat it would be to see our child surrounded by all our loving family. We decided to write down how much family would be in each group.

Great Great Grandmothers: 2
Great Grandparents: 8
Grandparents: 6
Great Uncles: 13
Uncles: 8
Great Aunts: 13
Aunts: 11
Cousins: 3
Kitties: 2
Dog: 1

So how much does adoption cost anyway????

We are looking into adoption with St. Elizabeth Colman /Catholic Charities in Indianapolis and also a local agency in Lafayette called Gifts of Grace. Now the additional fees vary depending on whether or not the birthmother has Medicaid or Insurance or No Insurance, it also includes Attorney fees, post adoption counseling for the birthmother and several other items. You can check out the details at each of the websites at the links section of the blog. The chart below is my interpretation of the info found on the websites.

If anyone has any good fundraising ideas we could do over the next year please comment and let us know. We are open for any suggestions. Thanks !!!

Peace ,  Amanda

 

	Gifts of Grace	St. Elizabeth Colman
APPLICATION	100	300
New Home study	1200	1500
Placement fee (at hospital)	14400	17000
Additional fees	up to 16000	up to 5300

Using the Gifts of the Lord

I woke up this morning thinking about how special it is that during this adoption journey Amanda and I have both already utilized our unique gifts from the Lord to help communicate to friends and family and to help fund raise for our future child. I have been working on creating websites for us, and Amanda has been crocheting. If you have not seen it yet Amanda is selling crocheted items on Etsy now to help fund raise for our adoption (http://www.etsy.com/shop/KoehlCrocheted). It was her idea to start making hats one day, and she has built up an inventory quickly. I am in awe of the talent God has given her to turn yarn into something to wear. I helped her by taking the pictures for the websites, and getting them set up and functioning. I am starting to consider selling photography on her Etsy account as well. Photography is special to us because I have taken courses all through High School and College and has been a passion of mine. Recently I have been teaching Amanda what I know and it has become a mutual hobby together. It melts my heart when she says something about the composition, or the lighting of an image. We bought a DSLR for our Christmas present to ourselves and it has been so nice taking pictures with her. I must admit I am still possessive of my old Nikon fm10, and have let Amanda use it only a little. Having a digital camera we can both use together has been very enjoyable. I know that this journey to adoption is part of his plan for us, as it has strengthened our spiritual life and our relationship together.

Take Lord, and receive all my liberty, my memory, my understanding, and my entire will, all that I have and possess. Thou hast given all to me. To Thee, O lord, I return it. All is Thine, dispose of it wholly according to Thy will. Give me Thy love and thy grace, for this is sufficient for me.

Ignatius Loyola

The sample pictures below are senior pictures we took together for Amanda's sister.
We used my old Nikon to take these pictures, and then converted them to digital. A process we can avoid now with our new DSLR camera.

 

 

Our Fertility Timeline

Daniel and I have been married for 4 years this May. We have been open to becoming pregnant for the last 4 years. Here is a little fertility timeline on what has been going on for us.

May 2009: We are married
April 2010: Tests show Daniel has a low sperm count and he has surgery for a varicocele (we thought that this is why we have not conceived)
July 2010: Tests show I have hypothyroidism (maybe this is why we have not conceived), so I start new meds
April 2011: I had some odd menstrual cycles but my pelvic ultra sound shows all my parts look good (we don't know why we are not pregnant yet)
May 2011: I start taking Vit D , lab levels are low , and an antidepressant , start of two new meds
February 2012: We start NaPro Technology and Natural Family Planning Classes
April 2012: After charting my cycles, I have labs done to show I have low progesterone, estrogen and I am insulin resistant. So I start Metformin and fertility medication -HCG injections
May 2012: We move to Lafayette, so now my injections formulated in Ft. Wayne now cost $20 extra to ship each month.
August 2012: No results with the HCG, I am getting frustrated and fed up with trying and it is putting a strain on Daniel and my marriage. I stop the HCG.
November 2012: I go to a new doctor in Lafayette and I am put on fertility medication clomid 50mg in December where my progesterone was only 7
January 2013: My clomid does goes to 100mg and this medication dose overstimulates my ovaries and I go to the ER with horrible pelvic pain. My progesterone did however increase into the 30s .
February 2013: My doctor takes me off of Clomid and I am put on Femara another fertility medication.

We are now off of the medication (my decision) and even though no doctor has told us we "cannot get pregnant on our own", I believe in my heart that we are called to adopt.

During the past month of March I have been off of fertility medication and my relationship with God, myself and my husband has been healing. I am no longer angry, upset and feel utterly broken. Our decision to adopt has been a long one in coming. We have actually been talking about adoption for 1 and 1/2 years . We have prayed, had people praying for us, and now that the decision to move forward as been made we have found PEACE!!! It is a beautiful thing. I feel now that we have surrendered to what God's will, there is so much more room for better things to come.

Peace,
Amanda

Kids for Koehl's

We just started our long discussed blog tonight. The picture above is from Easter. Amanda picked out my bright shirt, which I looked good in. We had many talks with our supportive families about our adoption process. I am so thankful to have the love and support of our family. It reassures me that this adoption journey will be easier with all the love, support, and prayers our family and friends have given us already. Signed...Daniel.